"All good things must come to an end."
"It's better to end something at its peak."
"This is the last FAT FEST."
Bullshit, I thought. How can this be the last one? I just started going to Fat Fest 3 years ago, and I'm not fat enough yet! Since 11th grade I have gone with friends every year to get a tee, maybe some CDs, and most crucially to get as close as possible to the front when The Richman Toy were up on stage rocking it. The year I started attending was the year they were on top of the charts.
But to me, Fat Fest isn't just about The Richman Toy or buying band stuff. It's also that one time of year I am able to gather all my Thai friends who love music together. No matter how far and INCONVENIENT the venue is from the practical side of town, or how gross and exhausted your body gets from behaving like lunatics for hours and hours, you never look back on a Fat Fest without smiling and being grateful you went with your crazy friends. I've always secretly thanked Fat for giving me a reason to call up these people that I might not see or talk to everyday. To think that it all started in art class in the 11th grade, when Charlie who sat back to back with me turned and said, "Hey Mika, are you going this weekend?" - provides the very picture of how such an event brings people, who might be sitting at different tables, together. Even when last year's was sort of a fail in gathering people to go because of the floods and how J and I were abandoned by our taxi in the middle of nowhere and had to get there "indie-style", I still say it was perfect hanging out with just Charlie, Earth, and J that night. Taking weird astronautic pictures. Watching Charlie and J have the time of their lives catapulting themselves into the air on some space jump attraction. Holding onto each other's shoulders while singing a song we all know. Catching a ride home with Charlie's parents.
I had hoped for memories as poignant as these this year. Before the night began, with the emotional weight of the word "last", I wasn't ready it all to end. But unexpectedly, last night I didn't stay for the last band.
I wasn't able to convince my friends this year of the importance of the festival over work, fatigue, sickness, and other petty things. So I ended up going with a senior I somewhat know and 2 seniors I had never met. Fortunately, they are very pleasant folks and let me do my own things, which tends to be ideal given that I'm such a lone-wolf. But browsing through booths by myself made me realize that I do indeed get something out of meeting my friends in the middle, going with their flows sometimes and not mine all the time. I felt guideless and out of place now. A lost, washed out rock fan among the blur of a new generation of enthusiasts. Girls sporting high-waisted denims, native American details, faux vintage, and hippy hairstyles. Boys with thick black framed glasses, folded up skinnies, suade shoes, and flat "hipster" mohawks. They should call this the Instagram or Tumblr generation, really. When did mainstream invade the sanctity of rock?
Another difference for me this year, and probably the reason why I didn't last til the end, was that The Richman Toy came and went so early, so fast. They're usually the grand finale, which is good for me because I am not able to hold back on them and I can just die right after. But this year, they were out of sight by 8 p.m. I didn't know what to do with myself for the 4 remaining hours then, and I was already exhausted. So I crawled out of the crowd and listened to the rest of the performances from a distance under some fancy lights.
Disappointment? Initially perhaps. But now I see that this really was the perfect year to end "Fat Fest". 12 years. That's like school. You wouldn't want it to keep going after senior year, even though senior year was the best. You simply outgrow things you'll still love and always love. You're ready to move on to new things. Doesn't mean you'll never see your friends again. (Or your favorite bands again.) It'll just be under different lights and through a new perspective. Fat Fest is just an atmosphere. Like middle school or high school.
I look forward to the next atmosphere.
"All good things must come to an end."
"It's better to end something at its peak."
"This is the last FAT FEST."
