Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Bait

Debate. What a healthy thing to have gotten involved in. 
But before I elaborate, let me show you this pen that I just laid to rest in the trash (RIP).
          This pen was brand new, fully loaded, when I joined debate club late July. Since then, it has been the only pen I carried around and used (it was actually a really good pen). On Thursday however, as if to mark a closing of a chapter, my trusty pen truly ran dry during the first club meet after the whole EU-TH shebang. I have to admit, the symbolism was a little moving. This story also illustrates how much I write in debate, and writing is definitely is exclusive of my regular classes because I DON'T DO SHIT IN THEM.

          Anyways, down to the serious reflection.... I've found something really valuable in debate club. It's ridiculous how easy it was to find the best of the best in Chula. Yes, I'm talking about the intellectuals, but I'm also talking about real personalities. Starting out as a newbie, I was always afraid to be a waste of time to the other members. Seriously, why would anyone so smart and so eloquent want to invest time in me? I also predicted that it would take me a long time to establish my individuality in the debate society... This was just one of those times reality slaps expectation in the face.
          It's been a month, but I'm still not desensitized to the seniors' attitudes towards me. They've NEVER made me feel like I was wasting their time. And though I may not know what they really think of me, I believe their sincerity and that's enough for me. In fact, there is no "seniority" in debate society. But what I love most about the club is knowing that for once I'm not being judged on my reputation or appearance. That I have to prove myself right there and then with that 7 minute speech. It's so exciting. People often disregard the negatives of having good attachments to your name. Not having that baggage for once is extremely liberating. I guess everyone in the club had to go through that to some degree. Since on top of that, people are from different faculties, there is no expectation for people to be similar either. In effect, there is no pressure to be anything other than who you really are. 

          ... And the extra unbelievable part: despite how many times I've embarrassed myself in the club already - I've even cried pathetically in front of a few - they all still give a crap about me. 
Just look:
Reference to: LOOK AT THE CHAIR.

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